Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize