There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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