Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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