Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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