It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Acid is not a monday night drug
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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