Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize