Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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