I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
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"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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