She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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