I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize