You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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