if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize