were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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