i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize