omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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