youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize