it was like eating out sand paper
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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