I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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