how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You smell like stripper and shame
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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