i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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