so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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