Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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