He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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