i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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