if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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