so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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