well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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