saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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