my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Randomize