im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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