I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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