Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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