last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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