Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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