She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize