Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i now understand why vodka
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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