there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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