a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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