after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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