I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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