in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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