I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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