Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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