Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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