i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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