Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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