I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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