I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize