nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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