did you get engaged???
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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